I don’t agree with bulling or judging people, honestly I think that schools should in force it more than they do. How ever I do see both sides of it though. Like from the person is getting judged/bullied they are probably confused about why there being bullied. There probably think what did I ever do, like the article said some will go to extremes to make it stop! I do also agree with that they should go see an adult. I also see it from the bullied side some have family problems at home maybe they do it because it happens to them or because they fill insecure about them self’s or they think that it makes them look cool. I think that they should also go to an adult. With judging people I don’t agree with that either. Just by the way people look or because they are different, you should to know them before you judge. Just like the quote don’t judge a book by its cover.
KK.
ReplyDeleteIdeas: I like the idea of having both sides of the issue, but i think you could go into a little more detail about the rules that you think should be in forced.
i think that you could also talk a little more on who else you could talk to about the bullying besides just an adult. you could probably say that you think that any one who is being bullied or bullying should talk to a trusted adult.
Details: The whole idea was a little messy but i thought there was alot of good points and ideas in there. I don't really know what i am supposed to be feeling but i think that with a little editing your ideas with flourish. :]
So What: I was left with some things to think about, i was left thinking about the things you did not mention in your blog.
I do think that people should read this blog, it has aloto f good points to in.
W/Love
Stupid Cheerleader :]
kk.
ReplyDeleteideas: I like how you showed both sides of bulling,you had a lot of good ideas, but you probably could have found a little bit more and expanded it. you could have put an example in their or a story and how people feel when that happens to them. But you did good.
detail: I think you could have added more details on each little thing, maybe you could have described how people felt and what emotions they had. You could have also added more infomation on the schools and put some facts in it.
ReplyDeleteso what: I see that your pourpose is to say that bulling is wrong and that people should stop it.
change: compared to the draft it has'nt changed much so you should have expanded your ideas more. I think its important that people should understand what happens to people when they bully.
Like everyone else has been saying your ideas are great but i feel like they are very unorganized and confusing. You have a wonderful point it was just written poorly in some areas of your writing.
ReplyDeleteSomething you could do to fix this is use better puncuation and write your paper, dont write it like you would say it to your best friend. Words like "like" and other things that help it to seem unimportant. Like the others have been saying, you need to expound on your ideas and put alot more detail and examples into your writing. i trhink it would help your readers to feel more how a kid being bullied would feel or how the bully would feel.
I understand your points and what you are portraying, but why should i read you paper. How is it going to help me feel more for bullies and people who get bullied. I feel like if you had answered those questions it would have turned out a whole lot better.
Still you did a good job! You thought of both sides, which most people dont so good job. I think if you fixed those few things your paper it would be awesome and everyone should read it.